My Kids Speak Tagalog
My kids speak Tagalog. You might have seen them on YouTube. It’s cute. They chit chat with the nanny. They’re huge in Quezon City. Compared to the other children at least. Hilarious.
Anyway, Tagalog. Tita “auntie”. Tito “uncle”. Pecpec bantoc “Stinky ass”. That’s all I can ever remember. Oh, and that Julia up in 8C has been sleeping with her chiropractor since well before his wife died of breast cancer. Also, they arranged to “fire” theirs so she could claim benefits while they pay her half of what they paid her before.
Kumustá “How are you?” Kainin mo iyan “Eat that”. Ate “Older sister”. One of Kiera’s cousins nannies for a couple across town who she is for sure for sure absolutely black not white (sometimes my daughter loses some of the idioms in translation) slimed the family glycerin soap (as I said).
Bwisit “bullshit”. Magbirô ka na sa lasíng, huwág lang sa bagong gising “Make fun of a drunk person, not of one who just woke up.” “We’re not actually going to fire you. We’ll just tell the government we did so you’ll get some of those taxes we’ve been paying for you back from the government. You are a citizen aren’t you?” Or at least that’s how Ava, our 5-year old transcribed it for me in crayon on the back of a Dora coloring book.
Mabuhay! – a generic toast, literally “Long live!” Hindî “no”. Kiera used to nanny for a family in the South of France, a “bery reech pamily prom Taudi Arabia.” She told her cousin (the one across town) over the phone one time that she was positive they once had Osama bin Laden as a house guest. I mean, how many 6 foot 6 Arabs do you know? Anyway, they were really nice to her. So she might be wrong. I had wanted to ask her about that one, but Ava had been listening to the conversation on the phone in my office and, well, that’s all I need to say about that.
Code switching Tagalog with English is common – but city dwellers and the highly educated are more likely to do it. Kiera told Felix (my 7-year old) that she once saw a man actually crucified in a reenactment. Felix can’t remember whether she said it was in Batangas or Quezon province however. Which leads me to question the veracity of that claim.
Wala bang discount? “Isn’t there a discount?” Haller! “Duh!” Oh, believe me, I’ll hear something about you eventually. Only now I have to bribe the little shits. The kids, not the nannies. Why, did you hear something?